im not happy.
im not sad.
for a moment i think its fine.
the next moment, i dont think it is.
maybe i seem to be smiley and everything.
but deep down inside, im really really disappointed.
she seems to be okay with the grades, but i know deep down she's disappointed too.
she's just not showing cause she doesn't want to make me feel worse.
i know i've let down many people.
im really sorry.



In 48hrs, im gna see my Alevel results staring back into my face.
i haven't been sleeping well. i sleep late & wake up early.
& so, im down with a cold, having a sore throat and spiltting headache.
ayeee. i dont know why but i feel a bad omen.
my week didnt start out well too.
so....
& my mum went to ask some fortune teller, and he says i wont do very well.
:( :(
SHITXZZZZ.
so, im damn scared.

flu was really bad so i didnt go to work ytd.
but i managed to pull myself to go celebrate k's birthday.
SO HAPPY 19TH DEAR GIRL.

meeting the twin later.
then work from 130 to closing tmr.
THEN FRIDAY.
ok i think someone shld give me some sleeping pills.
so i can sleep thru today, tmr and friday morning.
wake up at 230pm on friday to see the results.
this 'waiting for results period' is killing me :/



this year's CNY was a little bit more different cause i spent most of it with the friends (:
& with many inbetween, 'jackblack' hahahaha, & mahjong sessions.
day 1 with the family.
day2 at my place, gwen & char's place.
day3 at yx, jenna and lenee's place.

i must say i've enjoyed myself really much with the friends.
but i also meant i slept REALLY little.
the clique stayed at char's hse mahjong&talking till 6am.
& i slept at 7am.
woke up at 9am, went visiting, then stayover at lene's place.
which i had alot of fun with her & melbourne friends.
we talked till 4am.
& the next day i had work.

so overall, this year's CNY was goood.
my angbao collection was goood too hahaha (: (: (:

--
i was filling in my work schedule for the next two weeks, then i realised.
results are coming out in 2weeks.
the jitters are back again.
&& the sleepless nights are back again too.
prepare to see my panda eyes when i get back to school on 5th March.
cause i prolly cant fall asleep the night before.
pleaseeee let me do well!

--
& im super addicted to this song i dont know whyyyyy.
I want your love and
I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
(Oh-oh-oh--oh-oh!)
I want your love and
All your lovers' revenge
You and me could write a bad romance








i love the princess cake i made todayyyy (:
-
dinner with lene was great.
though it was just a short few hours, but time well spent.
meeting the clique for lunch tmr (: (:
then off to do my nails and hair.
& some last minute shoppingxzzz!

im looking forward to CNY!
cant wait for all the angbaos, & MOST importantly, MAHJONG (: (:



& it has been a year.
this morning on the way to meet lene to visit jac at church, i kept thinking.
at this time, last year, what were we doing?
i rmb everything really clearly.
dearest jac, your fellow giraffes still miss you dearly.
we hope you're happy, & we know you're watching over us.
we miss you, & we love you.

-
and yes, i met up with dearest lene today.
goood time spent (:
we talked with jac.
we shopped.
we starbuck-ed.
we dintaifung-ed.
we toook many nice photos at marina barrage.
we enjoyed ourselves.
& we hoped you could be with us toooo.
I havent felt so happy in the longest time.

-
Ms H told us about a another poem jac wrote (:
if only life were an internet browser by Jac.

Sometimes I wish I could
Click to the periods of life
Click, click, click
Forwards and backwards
Today and yesterday

If I were younger
And the world older
The consequences I face
Would not be too harsh

The seconds slowly they tick on by
And unfailingly, I never noticed
How much time has passed

Just to be sure,
I want to check,
To see how much I've changed.
But when I do
Why is it that
I still look the same?

I never really noticed how

Important

Each hour, each minute, each second
Could mean.
Only when it's all gone

To think about wasted time
And nary a thought
Would be to waste more time
Thinking about what I've forgot

Wishing that perhaps life were more easy
With just a click, or
Wishing if only life were an internet browser
With just one click,

One, for life to stay
Is wishful thinking actually,
Because the very next second
Is only a tick away

♥♥♥