work at dempsey's was (:
although i suffered many blueblacks, and my rightarm's sore like crazy.
& i can only sleep at 4am.
friends call me a workaholic, hahahaha.
but i'd rather work than do nothing.
at least time flies.

&& i had a bad dream last night.
i dreamt i got a S for H1Chem.
& i couldnt get into uni.
can 5th March just quickly come.
thinking of the results can kill.

& my dear K. please take care and getwell soooon.
i want to see you jumping and all again infront of me soooon!
♥ ♥ ♥



so it has been 6 years.
mixed feelings i guess.
sometimes i want him back; but then sometimes i'd rather not.

things would be very much different if he's still around, im sure.

i've promised him many stuff.
and i hope i'll fulfill them one by one.
because i wouldn't let him down.
because i know he loves me.
& i love him as much.
i miss you very much.
i know you're watching over me ♥

So I won't give up; No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong; Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me



my second cake dedicated to the two Js - Jalene & Jac.

--
today(actually, yesterday haha) was my 'best' day at work, know why.
first i burnt my finger while washing the server.
then, the POS had problems.
then, the receipt printer had problems.
then, the water tank pipe 'burst' and water splashed all over.
hopefully this will be my worst closing.
anything worse than this, i dont know how to react already.



today was the ever first time i felt tired when i get home after work.
its weird.
i woke up at 11!
stayed home till i went for work.
& i feel more tired than when i wake up at 9, meet friends, then go to work.
so see, the reason i dont like staying home.
makes me feel so lethargic and allllll :/
its the friends who make me (: (: (:

kids carnival this weekend,
so good, time will fly.
i hate it when i stay home, and time crawls.
then i start thinking about stuff again :/

just ytd the usual 'routine' happened again.
i seriously hate being controlled.
i mean, who does?!
but she just dosent get it.
im not a fiveyearold kid anymore.
im turning twenty alr :/
i just need a little bit more space (:
maybe he would have been much more understanding.



my first ever icecream cake.
this first design's dedicated to the dearest triplets!
each heart representing one of us (:
my next cake will be dedicated to lene&jac ♥♥

--
im in a 'missing-people-mode' again :(

i hvnt seen char&gwen for a whileeee.
the last time i saw them was newyear :(

& lene's far far away.
(but, im just a short distance away dear! hahaha (: )
she'll be back in 20days time ♥ ♥ ♥

& it have been almost a year since she left.

& a few more days, it'll be 6 years too.



it has been such a long time.
more than a year i think.
maybe its just me.
how i think maybe?
how i react to stuff maybe?
a certain part of me wants to just forget about it.
but the other part, just keeps telling me not to.
i dont know what i am doing.
not only that. everything actually.

i dont know exactly what i am doing.
its just that,
a moment i want to do sth.
but the next, i tell myself not to.
i am weird haha.

& stupid weird dreams again.
its all coming back :/

okay i dont know what im saying anymore.
i want to quickly go back to work tmr.
cause its when i can concentrate and not think about anything else (:



im going crazy over JANG GUEN SUK haha omg.
here it goes again.
i've been playing and re-playing his songs nonstop the whole day.
then i went to watch movies he acted in haha.
BABY&ME!
the kid in BABY&ME is seriously damn cute.
plus with JGS in it, PERFECT (: hahahaha.

--
and shit, i've been dreaming about the results, again.
the previous time, i dreamt i didnt finish a 'veryweird' GP paper.
so i failed. SHITXZZ.
what if i really fail GP :/ die.

shopping at ikea was fun :D
we came up with a new layout for my roooom!
mum's giving me a week to clear everything.
then i can get new stuff for my rooom, just in time for the new year.
im tired&bored of the current layoutttt :D
cant wait (: (: (:




YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL is beautiful hahahaha.
been watching it nonstop and yay i've finished it!
VERYVERY NICE.
the friends will have to bear with me these few weeks.
cause i'll probably keep talking about the 3 guys in it!
all so handsome! (: (: (:

everything's well so far!
work's making time fly.
it's good i guess.
(:









2009 was another year of ups and downs.
a year of changes.
a year of adaptability.

--
it all started when i had to adapt school life without the clique.
cause i was to used to having them around.
the morning table before school.
random meetups during breaks.
after choir/school dinners.

but, all was well cause i found another group of friends which made life (: (: (: too.
the choir gang, you people know who you are.
those who made me smile, laugh with, sing with etc etc.
that was where life in AJ took a turn.
cause when they left, i felt empty.
but the choir gang changed it, cause i was happy again.
maybe even more happier, cause they never fail to come up with funny antics.

--
but then, february brought my mood down, many others too.
even before that, when J sent me the letter saying she couldnt start the new school year with me.
i was holding my hopes high she could join me after a week or two.
how much i wished i could see her every morning in the class beside me.
having geog lectures with me.
seeing her beautiful smile.
and that hope was gone on 8th feb 8.37am when i received that very sms from gwen.
i read and re-read the sms many times.
every single time i inform one person, i'll read that sms again.
because i didnt believe what i saw.
i thought i would have misread the msg.
i thought i just woke up so i didnt read properly.
i thought i was just dreaming.
it was until i called lene.
when she cried in the phone.
it struck me, and then i realised.
it wasnt a dream.
she was really gone.
that period when she was gone, i think my mind just went blank.
like we didnt know what to do next.
me & lene. we're just _______.
i rmb going to get the wreath for her.
i rmb making the last card for her.
i rmb folding papercranes for her.
ahwell, my heart aches as i type this.
i always say that im happy that she's in a happier place.
but then, like what lene said,
"I can accept it, but I’ll never truly get over it."
somewhere deep down inside,
we still want her back.

so, feb was reallyreally down.
then the friends cheered me up.
& i was busy with choir and schoolwork.
time flew and the pain of losing her was much lesser.
but, i'm still always thinking about her.
our fellow sexy giraffe (:

--
then it was SYF where practices were crazy.
& we managed to clinch that gold with honours (:

--
then, i rmb one day while playing mahjong,
i received a call from lene saying that she was going to melbourne.
tears just flowed down uncontrollably.
but aye haha, that was that.
im now really happy that she's doing fine (:
she's coming back in a month's time.
& im flying over in may, so yay.

--
then, it was the mad rush studying for prelims and As.
i rmb studying at thomson, library etc.
that period just flew by with the blink of the eye.
i rmb how sad i was when i saw my shitty prelim results.
how much i chiong-ed for the A's.
how i panicked before my first paper.
& there, here i am.

--
2009 was really a rollercoaster ride.
the friendships formed ; the friendships broken.
sometimes i really dont want certain stuff to happen.
but like my mum said, that's me.
im trying, i really am.
just need time.

the fun, joy & tears of 2009.
have made me a stronger person.
have made me understand life better.
that it isnt fair.
on top with 2004,
made me treasure the people around me even more.
life's short, so we should live with no regrets.
live, laugh, love ♥

it was the great bunch of friends that made 2009 good.
you know who you are.
love you all.