it was tough to have to be who i am not. it was really difficult to smile and act as if i am really happy/enthusiastic, when i am not. these two days have been, bad. but i know i have to continue on cause i know you would want me to be happy. i wouldn let my emotions affect the others.

before i stepped into that hall, i told myself, no shermaine, you will not cry. you should be happy that she's safe up there. no sufferings, no unhappiness. but once memories of you flow into my mind there, i just couldnt control myself. i kept having flashes of your face. your beautiful smile.

i know that you'll be safe and happy up there. i know you are free of all the sufferings you had. the pain and all. i know i cannot be selfish to want to back by our sides. you will be happier there. like what our favourite song says, someone's watching over me. and yes i know, you will be watching over all of us. every single member of 36, all 20 of us.

jac,
i'll never ever forget the times spent with you, along with lene.
the 3 of us, the 3 giraffes. ms sexy giraffe jaclyn., ms giraffe shermaine and ms giraffe jalene.

i'll never forget the times we'll share a bowl of dessert and i start complaining to you about everything. you'll always put down that bright smile of yours and tell me, its okay shermaine, its okay!
i'll never forget the times you always asked me to write your name for you on your lecture notes/tutorials.
i'll never forget your special stickers that are pasted on all your stationary.
i'll never forget your favourite ZIG pen. the purple one.
i'll never forget your unique handwriting. your beautiful cursives.
i'll never forget your scribblings on my lecture notes, to keep me awake.
i'll never forget that time when we went your house, and im supposed to teach you all chinese. but we ended up looking at your photos and eating pizza!
i'll never EVER forget the stayover at lene's. the crazy stuff we did and those talks. sandcastle building. & that 'supposed-to-be-a-shopping trip outing'. and us, lying on the tables of macs outside shaw towers. thinking of where we wanted to go cause we all felt so tired.
i'll never forget our love to write nice lyrics at the back of our foolscape pad.
i'll never forget how i complained that you and lene are leaving for cambridge and i'll be all alone in school.
i'll never forget your first GP blog post about yourself.
i'll never forget the times we used to sing our favourite songs together.
i'll never forget the times we used to have crazy camwhoring sessions on lene's phone.
i'll never forget the little gifts and postcards you always prepared for us.
i'll never forget that we once had that similar COOL phone and sharing the same wallpapers, and complaining that the phone's lousy.
i'll never forget the stupid long class leader meeting that we had to attend every now and then.
i'll never forget anything about you.
& if i ever forget anything, i'll make sure i'll dig up my past memories.
i'll never ever forget the bubbly you.
i'll never forget the times when you laugh and you go heeheehee.
i'll never forget your love for drama.
i'll never forget how good you were in your performance at NLB.
i'll never forget us being so crazy that we were even able to camwhore in the midst of a fire drill.
i'll never forget the beautiful christmas card you made.
i'll never forget the letter you wrote.
i'll never forget anything about you.

thank you for being such a wonderful friend these past 2 years.
thank you for all your encouragement and advice you have given me.
thank you for all the 'you can do it shermaine! workhard!' these have really spurred me on to study hard.

& rmb, dont ever say that you're a irresponsible friend. we are, we were not able to share the pain you've went through.

you've been a really strong girl. and im really proud of you.

dearest jac, you'll always have a special place in all our hearts.
we love you.
rest in peace.