2009 was another year of ups and downs.
a year of changes.
a year of adaptability.

--
it all started when i had to adapt school life without the clique.
cause i was to used to having them around.
the morning table before school.
random meetups during breaks.
after choir/school dinners.

but, all was well cause i found another group of friends which made life (: (: (: too.
the choir gang, you people know who you are.
those who made me smile, laugh with, sing with etc etc.
that was where life in AJ took a turn.
cause when they left, i felt empty.
but the choir gang changed it, cause i was happy again.
maybe even more happier, cause they never fail to come up with funny antics.

--
but then, february brought my mood down, many others too.
even before that, when J sent me the letter saying she couldnt start the new school year with me.
i was holding my hopes high she could join me after a week or two.
how much i wished i could see her every morning in the class beside me.
having geog lectures with me.
seeing her beautiful smile.
and that hope was gone on 8th feb 8.37am when i received that very sms from gwen.
i read and re-read the sms many times.
every single time i inform one person, i'll read that sms again.
because i didnt believe what i saw.
i thought i would have misread the msg.
i thought i just woke up so i didnt read properly.
i thought i was just dreaming.
it was until i called lene.
when she cried in the phone.
it struck me, and then i realised.
it wasnt a dream.
she was really gone.
that period when she was gone, i think my mind just went blank.
like we didnt know what to do next.
me & lene. we're just _______.
i rmb going to get the wreath for her.
i rmb making the last card for her.
i rmb folding papercranes for her.
ahwell, my heart aches as i type this.
i always say that im happy that she's in a happier place.
but then, like what lene said,
"I can accept it, but I’ll never truly get over it."
somewhere deep down inside,
we still want her back.

so, feb was reallyreally down.
then the friends cheered me up.
& i was busy with choir and schoolwork.
time flew and the pain of losing her was much lesser.
but, i'm still always thinking about her.
our fellow sexy giraffe (:

--
then it was SYF where practices were crazy.
& we managed to clinch that gold with honours (:

--
then, i rmb one day while playing mahjong,
i received a call from lene saying that she was going to melbourne.
tears just flowed down uncontrollably.
but aye haha, that was that.
im now really happy that she's doing fine (:
she's coming back in a month's time.
& im flying over in may, so yay.

--
then, it was the mad rush studying for prelims and As.
i rmb studying at thomson, library etc.
that period just flew by with the blink of the eye.
i rmb how sad i was when i saw my shitty prelim results.
how much i chiong-ed for the A's.
how i panicked before my first paper.
& there, here i am.

--
2009 was really a rollercoaster ride.
the friendships formed ; the friendships broken.
sometimes i really dont want certain stuff to happen.
but like my mum said, that's me.
im trying, i really am.
just need time.

the fun, joy & tears of 2009.
have made me a stronger person.
have made me understand life better.
that it isnt fair.
on top with 2004,
made me treasure the people around me even more.
life's short, so we should live with no regrets.
live, laugh, love ♥

it was the great bunch of friends that made 2009 good.
you know who you are.
love you all.